Based on the work of Anthony Robbins in the 1990's promoted through his 'Date with Destiny' seminars.

The following is based on the work of Tony Robbins, one of the most successful coaches and motivational speakers in the world. Based on his work with over 3 million people, Tony's conclusion is that we are all driven by some combination of six core needs.

As simple as it sounds, few people know what they most want in life, and even fewer consistently focus on getting it. For most of us, most of the time, we focus on the means to getting what we want, rather than the core needs themselves. We obsess on "success" at our job, making "enough" money, or having the "perfect" relationship — or else we don't focus at all, and simply react to what life throws at us.

The following is based on the work of Tony Robbins, one of the most successful coaches and motivational speakers in the world. Based on his work with over 3 million people, Tony's conclusion is that we are all driven by some combination of six core needs. I have added a seventh that I believe is missing.

These needs are based on the way we live our lives, most of us prioritising one or maybe two of these needs above all others. Tony breaks them down into levels.

The first four needs (levels 1 and 2) are our physical needs, which we all find ways to meet, even if it is through violence, casting ourselves as the victim, or mental illness. Our physical needs are in tension with each other. The more certainty we have, the less variety we have, and vice versa. The more significance we have, the less connection we have. Because of this, we can never fully satisfy all four of these needs in a physical way, and different people prioritize different needs as being most important to them. At their core, many conflicts between two people are really a conflict between different needs. For example, masculine people tend to need more Significance, Variety, and Growth, while feminine people tend to need more Certainty, Connection, and Contribution.

The next two needs (level 3) are our personal development needs, which are the only needs that provide lasting fulfillment. The meaning of life — the meaning we crave for and create in our lives — comes from growth and contribution.

I believe there is another level (level 4) that seeks harmony and oneness with the universe. This reflects a need for enlightenment and a state of bliss. This need is to remove the need for cravings and aversions that keep us attached to the material world.

While none of the needs are "better" than another, happy, loving, fulfilled lives require shifting our primary focus from the earlier levels to the later levels, as we mature. A common developmental challenge in life comes when we become unconsciously fixated on satisfying a given need, past the point in our lives where it is time to start reprioritising it behind a more mature need.

We all have all of these needs, and we naturally want to satisfy all of them. However, if we could do so easily, we would be bored. Luckily, we can't, and the core tension built in to our deepest needs provides much of the fuel and spice which makes life (and relationships!) interesting, and keeps us growing throughout our lives.

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